end end end end ing ing ing

thinking about writing this first draft of the last chapter of the swank hotel– I think I have a sense of what the swank hotel is, conceptually at this point– not sure how much to nail down in my thinking about it yet– right now a sense is I think enough and more could kill it– similarly these ideas about ending– because it was so freaking shiny and beautiful this weekend, you know how aspen leaves are shiny on one side well every single thing looked like that in the light this weekend– and I write in the mornings, feel hulky in the brain by 2– so I pulled the metal grate shade over my window b/c the scene takes place at night and darkness is important for cutting things out– I think an ending is about slowly leaving things off so moments become increasingly singular– you just let things drop off/fall away as pages accumulate sometimes– so thinking about Joy Williams saying writers are always writing in the dark, and EL Doctorow about driving at night through mountains with just what the headlights illuminate– and how a house in the night is lit up, the light sort of contained– the reflective light of celestial spheres, the perforations in the lit house– and how can you choose an ending if you can’t choose a dream house?  these are still related.