June 20. Memory of Lu. was it yesterday or the day before I carried her upstairs to the studio so she could sleep on my chair while I worked like we used to do before stairs etc.
Today onto 3. reorient the myth. reimagined the book in 3 named parts with chapters you encounter inside them. that allows “pulse” to be the primary form of all of part 1 and part 3. What I hope is to change the way narrative moves within the constant form of breath– Em’s breath is really what it is. Which is why in the middle, which maybe has no Em in it at all (maybe I can be the invisible interlocutor for the section about the mother via the aunt? then I am the “implied Em”!). I think this can solve a whole lot of problems.
Then I went about working through the first several pages of 3 with this in mind and I have a direction to pick up on tomorrow. Though I want to continue, my body feels cramped and interrupts me always by noon. Why can’t I make myself do mini yogas? What the hell was all that yoga for if not this?
June 21 Solid adjustments through ch 3. some clicking together feelings. Maybe the plan should be keep going thru this draft, read that Powers book that looks so helpful as you rest, and then read through again as if it’s a book which god willing–
Orwell/1984 says history, made of documents and human memory– is the only thing that creates truth. so how does that inform what I’m trying to think about re origin stories. Is the only problem just that they’re essentialist? Or what else?
I set up for tomorrow by pulling out all of the sections that told the newspaper story in ch 4, leaving marks where those sections were. The plan is work with the document without those pieces, pull parts or summaries of them into the text as needed and then save the rest. Either they will belong in “voices” or they are for the scrap heap which I tell myself I can do something with.
I liked this version of Experts so much that I wish I could use it for the round two fellowship application– but it is still too long for that so what will I do? Maybe somehow set it up for the 2nd half of the chapter?