also really afraid that I’m not the way I see myself. as a writer.
maybe after the “simultaneous” chapter I can do the whole sequence at frank’s house like its own novella– it’s really about 90 pages of material that is made of of a sequence stories about reading, each centered around a character (Frank’s letter to Jack, Josie’s attempt to watch porn, the mother telling her story to her little kids, the father’s bobby fischer book.) Btwn the stories– or somehow woven btwn them or threading them or something (I am really struggling with linearity in this section– it really should be like flower opening) is the story of Em spying on the house and what happens to Josie there. I could see what happens if I lift all of that story from “voyeur” section and “predictive” section and see what it looks like all in a row. If it’s an “outcome” of the reading stories which maybe can just go in a sequence instead of being interspersed. Or if 2 parts of that linear story bookend the reading sequence/series.
also: so hard to concentrate on reading any new fiction. could be this effort to be in my book or the effect of also reading all these applications. it’s only going to get worse if the program gets popular, too, with the mfa. I will have to find another way to do admissions.