little magic

Yesterday:  went for my annual check-up (learned a little about estrogen, soy, and the pros and cons of several vaccinations);  my doctor gets prettier every year; and then I applied for a grant, which I think has as much and as little to do with art as going for my annual check-up.

Today:  Well, until today I’ve been writing this book sentence by sentence, collage-style.  I have sometimes spent a day collecting phrases from a book or the internet to put together into a sentence about something I don’t know anything about, and then spent another day finding a good place to put the sentence.  Today for the first time in this book I actually wrote forward for several pages– crappily forward.  That is a very difficult thing for me to do, to write a bunch of gross things in order to record some events when I have no idea what the lines should sound like or feel like.  But every so once in a while when I do something I tell students to do something comes of it.  Looking back at the morning’s work, I think some of the phrases in there hit on a good sound for the rest of that section to follow in revision.  I have been stuck on this idea that I should have all my chapters almost exactly the same size and wc (Just under 7k/20pgs).  A week or so ago I was struggling so much with this chapter that I thought, oh, maybe it’ll just be a shorter chapter, or maybe there’ll be a spacebreak in this chapter, even though there hasn’t been one yet, I could just do that.  But once I decided to make myself write crappily, it turns out that I think when I go back and write this part as it should be written, it will actually end up the size and shape I initially wanted.  I’m not saying magic, but I am saying like magic, because my mind is rigid or stubborn, wanting things to go the way it’s been wanting them to go.

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2 Responses to little magic

  1. so, i have been reading and writing about Samuel Pepys a lot, and this post opening is so totally worthy of him:

    “Yesterday: went for my annual check-up (learned a little about estrogen, soy, and the pros and cons of several vaccinations); my doctor gets prettier every year; and then I applied for a grant, which I think has as much and as little to do with art as going for my annual check-up.”

    that was his style in a nutshell “as much and as little” as anything and all of it.

    i’m so enjoying this blog and being reacquainted. cheers. maybe next physical is the physical when your pretty doc closes the exam room door and opens another…

  2. lucy says:

    one of my best students wrote a lot about Pepys last year and I hadn’t read him so I felt very left out…

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