I could see the end of this draft and wrote this ambitious schedule that had me through it by the end of September, when school starts up. Now, there is NO REASON I can’t keep momentum in october, I’m just scared because school scares me. So I had this “must get thru draft” thing putting me in a quasi-manic state. And so DOABLE I wanted to DO IT. But other stuff piling up– article I said I’d do, emails, etc, grouchy with partner for, like, any tiny interruption of my thought pattern–
I don’t have to do it right this second all the time. I just want to. I never have any sense of balance unless I am doing JUST the ONE THING. Then it feels like balance. Ha unilateral feels like balance. All one thing is a kind of balance, right?