June 30: got started late– 8:30, but sometimes you have to maintain your relationships with real people. working on application packages, which includes putting together sample from the book, summary/outline stuff. It might be because a couple of writers I like are having good things happen to them and I’m thinking ‘their books are probably just better than mine. not just more fun but maybe even better.’ this is the stupidest thinking. it just means I am not sure about my book today. I want the characters to be better, funnier, more interesting, more surprising as people. And then I think they just are what they are, this is the book I just have to make it as good as possible. Anyhow it’s only 11am, back to packaging. (did that and emails til 4:30 then exercise)
July 1: work day at davis
July 2: 7:30-11:30 transcribed material from the magic & the intellect panel recording & worked on chronicle article. related to the section of the novel I was working on so that’s good. then therapy and the apple store. I bought a small computer to use when I travel and I am excited about the prospect of not putting much on it and not linking my email to it, stuff like that. read on the train.
July 3: 7:30-1:30 worked on chronicle article. Broke for food though. afternoon to-do list attack. organized lists and calendars. exercised. fixed my slippers.
July 4: late start 8:30-12. returned to scary chapter. either grounded it or explained it away– not sure which.
July 5: worked at gf’s store til kinda late so got late start (I hate that) but couple conceptual things came together about time and place. It feels so good– just when I’m scared I won’t know what to do when I get to the next chapter, working in the current chapter shows me something I can latch onto to make that move. It is a very machine-y feeling, a clicking, snapping, racheting feeling of something that is as if already made. I also find that there is some leaping around– like I’m on p. 80 and it makes me understand p. 140 so I leap over there for a second– but I leap back as quickly as possible and try to keep moving forward. No matter how evasive of the linear the text is, the pages proceed in a line and it’s a pleasure and a relief to be on a path once there is one. Anyhow. 9:30-noon so far. Afternoon plan = format a ms for an anthology, try again to make myself send fellowship packages to references. and return to draft when possible. Note: bummer to say that interest in Austerlitz is not so fervent right after 100 pgs… not leaving yet though!
July 6: note-storting. maybe hr or 2 of concentration but that’s it.